


At Home with Ourselves

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Romance, Banter, Boys Kissing, Character Study, Conversations, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Family, Family Feels, Homesick Lance (Voltron), Homesickness, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, M/M, Mild Language, My First Work in This Fandom, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Tickle Fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 07:19:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13676922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: As the Castle of Lions lands on a small planet for the night, two paladins are unable to find rest. Both lack the security that a home provides, both within their previous lives and within themselves. This night, they will begin to renew that feeling of safety and security together.





	At Home with Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I was resistant to watching Voltron for the longest time due to my lack of interest in mecha and being terrified of the infamous ship wars going on (I’m chill with most ships, so chill guys). I’m pleasantly surprised that I really love the show and I can’t wait for season 5 to come out!  
> So here’s some Klance, both in anticipation for season 5 coming out in less than a month and as a Valentine’s Day thing. Also note that with Lance’s family members, I’m using my own headcanons until we get confirmation on who the exact members in Lance’s mind picture are.  
> As always, feel free to give me any constructive criticism and feedback you have and I hope you enjoy it!

The bedroom walls around Keith gave off a rigid and cold air, his trembling fingers gripped fistfuls of his blanket. The dim blue light of Altean tech barely illuminated the room as part of the castle’s night cycle. He tossed and turned over the course of the night, the only rest he got were short fits of sleep with dreams that haunted him out of slumber. Though he couldn’t remember the dreams in detail, they almost always had the same recurring imagery that burnt into his brain. The Galra ships overpowering the castle and Voltron, the excruciating heat in the cockpit as Keith felt the lions get enveloped by explosions, the taunting laughter of Zarkon and Lotor, his body feeling like it was tearing at the seams between human and Galra forms.

Keith propped himself up on his elbow as his heavy eyes were drawn to his backpack sitting in the corner of his room. It’s not like he’s going to get much sleep the rest of the night anyways, so he figured that he might as well just change. With a heavy sigh, he threw the covers off his body and his bare feet padded across the cool metal floor towards his backpack. He unzipped it open and took out his usual clothes, red jacket, and shoes. He thought about what he was going to do exactly. There were still a couple of hours left until the morning routine would kick in, so he wanted to move around a bit so that he could hopefully wear out his thoughts until he felt less tense.

He pulled on his fingerless leather gloves as he stepped out into the dim hallway. Looking both ways to be sure that no one else was around, Keith began to wind down the hallway. He took care to tread softly as the halls can be quite echoey and alert anyone else of his presence. Keith stopped beside the door to the training room. He thought about heading into the training deck to mindlessly grind at training robots as he would sometimes do. Tonight though, the walls of the castle felt different somehow. More rigid, more encroaching and claustrophobic. His mind raced as turned to walk a brisk pace towards the main entrance of the castle without a second thought.

He could already hear the patronizing tone of Allura’s voice lecturing on how he shouldn’t be going outside the castle on his own on a new planet, especially at night. Although, she did mention earlier when they landed that the planet’s atmosphere was safe for humans to breathe. That was good enough for Keith.  It was worth the risk of having to do some boring chores as punishment. Shiro wouldn’t be too happy with him though.

 _How would Lance react to this?_ Keith crossed his arms and slowed his pace to a walk.

 _Why should I care about what he thinks?_ If Lance knew that he was going to break the rules, Keith honestly wouldn’t know if he’d encourage his actions or even jump in for the thrill of it, with the possibility he’ll annoy Keith about it afterwards depending on the outcome. Or perhaps he’d suddenly get cautious and try to get Keith to not go through with it. With how Lance has been behaving lately, it didn’t sound as crazy now compared to back when this whole mess began. Keith didn’t care about Lance’s opinion. Well, not before.

Lance had more going on in his brain than just hitting on others and a desire for heroism. Keith understood that for a while now. It only clarified when he thought back on that conversation they had on Lance’s worthiness of being a paladin. Lance wanted Keith to let him go. The guy’s normally sharp, confident features had dulled, his blue eyes normally lit with a burning fire darkened as they stared at the floor unable to make eye contact with him. Keith was taken aback in disbelief that someone with such enthusiasm and bravado didn’t think he was a capable paladin, even after everything that he’s done and what they’ve been through together.

Keith realized then that he didn’t want to let Lance go. Sure, he wouldn’t have to deal with Lance’s immaturity and his stupid jokes any longer. Not to mention that his flirtatious behavior had made Keith’s blood boil more as time progressed. But then he would lose a valuable team member. A member who believed in Keith as a leader even though he’s still uncertain about this new role. Even when there’s clearly more going on than Lance would let on.

Keith couldn’t help but notice some cracks in Lance’s demeanor recently. Moments where Lance would be distracted for no apparent reason. Lines beneath eyes indicating a lack of sleep. He still comes up with zingers but has been more silent as of late.

 _Why have I been noticing all of this?_ Keith thought.

_He’s my teammate. Like the others. I have to be sure he’s alright._

Lance wasn’t just his literal right hand man in Voltron form, or even just a fellow paladin. Somehow, it was more than that. Different, but good. Really good actually. Keith’s hand automatically touched his shoulder where Lance laid his hand as he accepted the black lion’s decision of Keith as its paladin. Lance’s comforting touch.

Keith stopped. The castle hallways fell into silence. He bit his lower lip. A small pain sharp enough to bring him back to reality. He shook his head.

 _No._ The denial only further clicked the truth into place. A truth Keith didn’t want to face. He picked up the pace, hoping to keep himself ahead from the very thought, from the stupid idea that he-! That they-!

A sudden light up ahead broke Keith’s stride and train of thought. Further up ahead was the bridge. A soft blue light seeped into the main hall through the cracks of the closed door. Someone else was awake.

 _Crap. Was Allura or Coran awake?_ He should’ve known better. It made sense that the two Alteans may need to talk possible next steps, whether it be the route the castle will take or even just making sure that the Galra were far enough away until the morning. Still, he didn’t want to turn back now. One had to pass the bridge when they exited the vessel unless they wanted to go the long way around the ship which Keith couldn’t take at this point. His breaths came short and fast. He needed fresh air.

The stealth that the Blade of Marmora drilled into Keith’s brain came into play without much effort as he edged closer towards the doorway. He pressed his back against the wall just beside the doorway and strained his ears. A few moments of silence. With a soft breath, he ran.

\---

Lance’s blood ran cold at the sound of footsteps echoing down the halls towards his direction. He tensed himself into a ball in his control seat, ducking his head into his knees to make himself as small as possible. He didn’t dare breathe and clutched his arms around his knees. A small part of him figured that this would happen eventually, but that didn’t lessen his quickened pulse or made his mind less frantic.

 _Great, now I won’t be taken seriously._ Lance thought. He’s been nearly caught by Allura a few times previously and once by Coran a while back. Lance remembered the relief that coursed through him at hearing Coran’s understanding with him missing Earth. After all, he and Allura did lose their home planet of Altea.

“Alright,” Coran had nodded to Lance. The mustached man gave Lance a small piece of paper with numbers written on them. Earth’s coordinates. “Just try not to destroy anything with your shenanigans, got it?” The Altean quickly added. Lance chuckled softly at the memory, then quickly shut up.

 _The others won’t let me be if they knew. I can’t relax then. Maybe if I just think of nothing, then nothing will happen. Like, be invisible. Yeah, I could do that, I guess. It’s already what’s happening anyways._ He jolted as soft footsteps sped past the closed door and echoed further down the hall. He didn’t break position for a few minutes. Surely if this was some sort of prank, then the others will come out in soon enough to laugh at his expense. Several minutes ticked by. Nothing. Nothing but the indiscernible hum of the control systems.

His sigh allowed his body to melt his tense muscles loose, resumed his normal sitting position and leaned his head back into the headrest. His eyes scanned over the electronic imagery of stars and galaxies. They floated around Lance like blue fireflies, swirling and shifting as they moved across the cosmos. He pulled out the piece of paper from his jacket pocket even though he knew the coordinates by heart at this point.  With a wave of his hand, the images began to fly around him until he stopped the map to focus on what he’s been looking for. It had taken longer to find it as time progressed, a fact he tried to not think about too much.

He zoomed in as far as the system would allow. His stomach churned when he found that once again, the blurry image of Earth was even smaller than last time despite the image being at its maximum magnification. A while back, he was half tempted to ask Pidge for her help in improving the imaging systems on the ship, or at the very least see images of Earth on her laptop from before they ended up on this insane journey as paladins of Voltron. He decided against the idea a while back, but the thought still drifted in from time to time. A lump formed in his throat at the thought of appearing weaker than he already has.

Sure, he knew that the red lion had chosen him and all, but he still wasn’t sure it was the right call. How could anyone, especially Keith, believe in him? That conversation they shared a while back in Keith’s room still stuck with him. Those large grey eyes, his relaxed open stance as Lance stood outside his door. That was the most relaxed and open that Lance had ever seen of his new leader. Even when he has little confidence in himself as a leader, he still encouraged Lance to stay.

Perhaps they weren’t too different in that way? Wanting to put the happiness of others over their own. The only difference was that while Keith amplified his loner self to avoid connecting with others, Lance would place his extroverted self up on display to keep his insecurities from surfacing. It’s something he’s done his whole life in some way, especially for his niece and nephew. This wasn’t that much different, right?

He turned his attention towards the massive windows to examine the terrain of the planet they landed on for the night. Due to the placement of this particular planet on the outermost edges of its solar system, this planet remained in darkness for most of its days. The tease of its pinkish purple light sat nestled as a line on the horizon between a large lake and indigo sky. The night sky was dappled with twinkling stars of various sizes along with a large full moon that hung right above the lake as the cool shade tinted the landscape in its silver glow. From where Lance could see, the shore extended out in a slight curve. A rocky formation divided the sandy shore from grassy fields.

Lance glanced at the door.  
“Guess taking a stroll couldn’t hurt.” He stood from his chair and exited from the bridge. He walked to the main entrance of the castle, stepped outside, and began the walk towards the shoreline. Lance was pleasantly surprised that this planet’s gravity was less than it was on Earth giving a much welcome spring in his footsteps. The salt air rushed into his nostrils, the coolness filled his lungs. Turns out this wasn’t a lake, but rather a small ocean of sorts. The muscles in his face relaxed as he thought of late summer nights in Cuba when the activity quieted down on the beaches near his home. In the moonlight, he looked down to worn down trail made in the grass.

 _Wait. Worn down grass?_ Lance crouched closer to find sections of flattened grass in the shape of footprints. They were spaced out in wide strides veering off to his right as if going around the perimeter of the tiny ocean.

 _Were there aliens on this planet?_ _Or Keith?_ Lance figured that if anyone wanted to risk breaking the rules to get outside, it would definitely be him.

 _Yep, Keith trying to be the impressive badass, toughin' it out on his own. What else is new?_ Not like Keith wasn’t a badass. He is, and everybody knew that. He pales in comparison to him. Yet, that didn’t seem to affect the way that Keith treated him. Well, outside of their rivalry anyways, an animosity which has lessened considerably. If anything, they’ve grown closer as mission partners. They could be considered equals now. Lance wasn’t sure if Keith knew how much his encouragement had meant to him. Lance wanted to return the gesture by wanting to help Keith grow comfortable in his new role as the leader. Keith in turn has acknowledged how Lance could be observant at times. Well, he’s more right than he realizes on that front.

So, that whole cradled in Keith’s arms thing and not remembering it? He lied. Lance did remember. At the time, he lied just so he could mess with Keith a bit. Granted, he really couldn’t remember everything due drifting in and out of consciousness as a result of his injuries. But he did remember how Keith took his hand with concern laced in his voice, how they smiled at each other in the hazy purple glow around them. Lance vaguely recalled how he fell into Keith’s arms and heard him calling out his name. Keith’s voice echoed distantly as he fell back into darkness. The last thought that Lance had was that in Keith’s arms, he was would be safe. If an opportunity presented itself, he’d do the same for him.

 _I wouldn’t mind doing that for Keith. To be at his side._ His palms began to sweat. He wrapped his green jacket tighter and hoped the cloth would dry his hands. As if that could hold back the thoughts that he tried to ignore for so long.

 _No, you idiot! Not like that!_ _Being at his side as in his second in command. His right hand man. That’s what you meant._ Lance reassured himself with this lie. It only half worked.

He spun towards the opposite direction of the footprints towards the sandy beach. His hands were stuffed into his jacket pockets, the stroll leisurely as his shoes sunk a bit the loose sand. He took in the gentle lapping waves of water on his right and the large rocks on his left that formed a natural border between the sand and fields beyond. He found a tall, smooth stone and sat down against it. The water’s surface glittered in the moonlight.

This planet mocked him. A silent, physical reminder of his loneliness, teasing him with sensations that made him think of thehome that was now galaxies away. He reached into his back jeans pocket and pulled out a folded up photograph. His fingers handled the paper with care as the image revealed his large family. His parents, grandparents, siblings, aunt and uncle, and his niece and nephew. His thumb stroked the still faces, his throat clenched.

“You guys must be so scared for me.” His voice cracked as he whispered. ”Rest assured, the feeling’s mutual.” He closed his eyes, gently kissed the photo, and held it shaking against his lips.

“Los extraño y te quiero.” He mumbled.

_I miss you and I love you._

A distant yell of frustration to his left made Lance jump out of his skin at the disturbance. He stuffed his family photo in his back pocket before running towards the source.

___

The outside did not help at all. Keith pushed his legs harder, something that was ironically hard to do when this planet’s gravity was slightly lighter than that of Earth’s. He sped up in hopes of reaching some sort of pain threshold, to feel anything else to distract him from the thoughts in his head. To blind himself from the world he was on. The life he was living. The tainted Galra blood that pounded in his ears. To push away thoughts of losing the few good things he had left. His friends. Shiro. Lance. Especially Lance.

Keith’s foot caught onto a small rock, his momentum carried his body forward in flight only to crash face first into the sandy beach. He coughed and spat out the sand that got into his mouth. He swore aloud in frustration. Even crashing into the ground didn’t hurt much on this planet, not even enough for him to get a nosebleed.

“Keith?” His stomach dropped at the all too familiar voice up ahead paired with footsteps that staggered across the sand towards him. He hurried to wipe whatever sand was stuck on his face.

 _Great._ Keith thought. _The last thing I need right now is to look like a mess in front of him._ He lifted his eyes high enough to find Lance standing over him. Lance’s features were accentuated as the moonlight illuminated his face, tilted in what is part surprise part amusement. Keith turned his face away, some sand in his hair flying out as he did so prompting a small chuckle from Lance.

“What are you doing outside the castle?” Keith asked hoping to distract Lance from the fact that he just tripped headfirst into a beach becoming a sandy mess.

“Good to see you too on this fine evening, Mullet.” Lance made a sarcastic bow as Keith pulled off his sand filled gloves.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Keith shot up and marched over towards the rock border. It took a few steps to notice his slight limp.

“Great. Now I sprained my ankle.” He grumbled  It’s not that bad as he could still walk, but that blunder it didn’t make the situation any better. He sped up, just wanting to get away.

“You’re one to talk.” Lance replied still following. Keith spun back.

“Can you not right now?” His shout came out louder than intended. They both stopped. Awkward silence filled the air as Keith sat and leaned back against the smooth surface. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees.

“Sorry.” Keith apologized.

“It’s fine, man.” Lance joined Keith as he sat down cross legged to his right. “Wanna talk?” His voice was soft, cautious.

“No.” Keith said. He forced himself to stare straight ahead,  though his eyes didn’t register what he was seeing.

“Okay. You don’t have to.” Lance leaned back into the flat rock and stared up into the darkened sky. Keith glared at him, waiting for some sort snarky side remark. Something that the typical Lance would do to lighten the mood. Several moments passed with no response. Lance didn’t even appear to acknowledge him, the sky taking his full attention.

 _Good. I can’t bear one of his stupid jokes right now._ Keith turned back forward to the barely dim light of the horizon and the small waves rolling onto the sand. Now that his ragged breaths have slowed and that his feet weren’t pounding against the grass, the soft waves made Keith think of a lullaby. He must’ve been more exhausted  than he realized as his eyelids grew heavy.His cheek turned to rest on his knees where Lance sat in his line of sight.

“How long have we been out here? Away from Earth?” Lance asked. Keith shrugged.

“I don’t know, a few months?” Lance nodded to himself, eyes still glued to the stars.

“There was something that I remember hearing, from Coran I think. It’s the idea that time in space moves slower?”

“Time dilation?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Why are you asking?” Lance hesitated until he pulled out something from his back pocket. Their eyes met. Lance already knew what he was going to ask, but Keith didn’t want to push it. He broke eye contact to made that point clear. That Lance didn’t have to say anything. Lance said the same thing just a couple of minutes before, so he’ll give him the same courtesy.

“There’s no need, Lance.” Lance’s fingers tapped against the folded paper as he pondered.

“It’s okay.” Lance bit his lower lip. “Just don’t laugh, okay? No one else knows that I have this.” He slowly unfolded it. Keith leaned in and squinted to see better in the moonlight. There was a large group of smiling people of various ages that he didn’t recognize, but Keith could already take a wild guess at who they were.

“That your family?”

“Yeah.” Keith only ever had his father growing up, so he couldn’t imagine having a family that large. He was genuinely curious.

“You guys all live in the same house?”

“Not all at once, but we visit each other quite often. We’d all cram together in my parent’s home in Cuba for Christmas and New Year’s.”

“What’re they like?”

“What can I say? They’re amazing. I mean, it’s hard to get privacy sometimes when there’s always some sort of commotion going on, but there’s rarely a dull moment I can tell you that much.” Lance gazed lovingly at the photo. “It’s strange. I have all of these memories of them, yet one is sticking out to me right now.” Keith nodded for him to continue.

“I was about six or seven? We have a two storey house, with a skylight up in the small attic. Somehow, I managed to stack enough boxes for me to climb up, unlock the latch, and climb onto the roof. I still remember how the stars looked so close, that I could touch it. And boy did I try. My parents freaked out when they realized the pounding on their roof was little me jumping like a madman as I tried to catch some stars.” They both laughed.

“Yep, that sounds like you alright."

“They kept the attic locked for a few weeks afterwards, though I would eventually be allowed back on the roof as long as one of my older siblings came with me. However, that first time that I was on the roof by myself had sparked my curiosity. It was that moment that made me want to explore space.”

“Fast forward to when I was in high school. I was never amazing with grades, but I managed. I improved enough to stand a chance when I applied to the Garrison. The waiting was agony. I began to lose hope when I was placed on the waitlist. Even so, my parents were excited at the idea of having their son go off to such a well regarded academy. Then I was finally accepted. The last day before I left was filled with so many strong hugs, well wishes, and encouragements that I wished I had kept better track of them all.” Looking at the photograph again, Keith could just feel such radiating warmth and love even though he never met them.

“Thing is, I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see them again.” Lance whispered.

“Don’t say that, you will.”

“Seriously Keith, what if we never make it back? We can’t ignore that possibility. And even if we do make it back, how can we be sure everything will be the same? This space time dilation thing could affect how time passes by for them. My family could be waiting their entire lives for my return if they’re still hold out hope at this point. They might even be dead now. There’d be no one to go home to.” The photo shook in his fingers. Once the image was slipped safely into his back pocket, Lance’s demeanor changed. It no longer had that softness that he had a few moments before. His jaw was clenched and he hugged his knees up to his chest, his eyes blank. Perhaps to clear out the thoughts that now stewed in his head. This mirror image of Keith’s physical position caught him off guard. He let go of his knees and fully turned his body to Lance.

“I don’t know if I deserve any of this.” Lance’s bitter voice grew in intensity as he continued. ”I’d be reminded by instructors like Commander Iverson that the only reason that I got transferred from cargo pilot to fighter pilot was because you got kicked out. It’s as if me being there- Hell, me even being here, was a fluke. A mistake.”

“H-hey, that’s not true-” Lance snapped his neck to him, his eyes filled with rage.

“It is true, okay!?” Lance let out a few shaky breaths before he buried his face into his knees. A rigid, trembling ball. “I shouldn’t have even tried.” Quiet, muffled sobs escaped his lungs.

Now everything made sense. This rivalry that Lance had started and how he had strived for attention and glory. The reminders that he wasn’t picked immediately and had to go on a waitlist, that he only got into his program of choice due to Keith’s absence. His uncertainty about his place in Voltron. Keith now understood where all of this doubt came from.

His homesickness, fears about his family, and his lack of confidence has eaten away at Lance’s walls. Keith’s heart broke as he wondered how the fun-loving Lance managed to deal with all of this by himself.

“Lance?” He froze.

 _What are you doing? What do you plan to say? Lance will hate you if he doesn’t already!_ Lance was still rigid and sobbed quietly, though not as bad as before. He got the feeling that this wasn’t the first time Lance had let tears fall over this. Except now he had verbalized it all to him. That could have either good or bad connotations. He silently hoped that Lance wouldn’t punch his face as he shuffled closer until the sides of their bodies were touching. Lance turned his reddened face to Keith. Gingerly, he placed his arm around Lance’s lean shoulders which twitched at his touch. Keith was about recoil his arm when the shoulders beneath him began to loosen. He leaned back and looked up to the stars for a moment, both to allow Lance to catch his breath and to gather his own thoughts the best he could. Keith spoke.

“I think you’ve achieved your dream. You’ve explored the stars and galaxies and met alien species. Those students at the Garrison could only dream of doing half of the stuff you did. In fact, you mentioned once before that back on Earth, you were the one who led Hunk and Pidge as you guys followed me back at the very beginning, right? No one else made that choice except for you. That’s far from a mistake of circumstance.” Lance wiped his nose and gave a small smile. Without thinking, Keith wiped some stray wetness from Lance’s defined cheekbone. “Not to mention that you’re family clearly loves for you. I’m sure they’ll still be waiting for you.”

“Yeah.” Lance said.

“I never had that kind of loving attention, especially with my mother.”

“Keith, you had no idea that you were part Galra.”

“But my dad did, and he said nothing. Surely your family would tell you something important like that, right?”

“Yeah, most of the time. But sometimes, my parents may not say things that they thought I couldn’t handle yet. Maybe he was trying to protect you or something?”

“From what? The truth? Whatever his reason, keeping quiet didn’t help. And what about her, huh?” Keith’s knuckles turned white and his fists trembled. Everything spilled out from there.

”My mother. Who is she? Where is she? In Zarkon’s army? The Blade of Marmora? She could even be dead for all I know! I guess it doesn’t matter now. All I know was that she abandoned me and my dad. He did the best he could, but he never really recovered before he died. She has to be cruel to leave us like that. She probably didn’t even want me...I mean, why...” His throat tightened and he quickly rubbed away at the hot tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

“I just want this all to end. But then where would I go?” Lance’s arms wrapped around him. A wordless invitation.

 _It’s okay. Let it out._ It said.

If Lance’s walls were eaten away overtime, then Keith’s walls crumbled into dust in mere moments. He buried his face into Lance’s chest and sobbed, his fingers clinging onto the back of his green jacket for dear life. His tears were filled with his anger, frustration, fear, and loneliness. Yet the midst of his emotions that he didn't know how to control, Lance was his constant. His stability. While Shiro was his mentor that was the closest thing Keith had to a brother figure, Lance was someone that both his opposite and his equal. Lance balanced him out as he prevented Keith from doing stupid things, yet allows Keith to express himself when he desperately needed it the most.

It felt like an eternity for his tears to cease. He had a headache from how hard he cried. Keith melted into Lance’s warm chest and focused on matching his shallow breaths to Lance’s heartbeat while Lance held him, his chin resting atop his hair. With how exhausted he was, he could easily fall asleep here. Lance was comfortable.

“Hey, remember that whole cradled me in your arms thing?”

“Yeah?” Keith hiccuped, his lungs still jittery from his sobbing. The irony of the situation hit him. What should’ve been a laugh came out as a few short hiccups. Lance was cradling Keith in his arms now.

“How the tables have turned, huh?” Keith said. A pause.

“I lied, Keith.”

“What?”

“I lied. I do remember.” Keith's mind went blank.

“What? Why didn’t you-?”

“I was too proud to admit it. I didn’t want to look weak by admitting that I had remembered you helped me. But now, I'm not as afraid to admit that. I’m really sorry that I lied to you.”

“It's alright, Lance. At least we’re even now.” Keith sat back up as he wiped the last few tears from his cheeks.

"Listen, Keith. I know that there's no way that I could ever understand your problems or what you're going through. However, that doesn't mean that you to deal with this alone. I'm here for you. Instead of just yourself, you'll have _us_."

Keith looked down to find that at some point, Lance’s fingers got interlaced in his own. His dark, slender fingers contrasted against his own pale tones.

_Us._

“Us.” Keith repeated softly. Lance closed the gap with his soft lips pressed chastely against his own. Keith lost his breath at Lance’s boldness. Lance quickly pulled away red faced letting go of his hand. Keith panted as looked down at his empty hand. He miss the heat of Lance’s fingers.

“Crap, I-I’m so sorry! I meant- y-you probably thought _us_ as in the team and-”

“No.” Keith’s pale skin began to burn as he leaned in and stopped just before Lance’s lips. Keith gazed deeply into Lance’s blue eyes as their warm breaths intermingled. The stars reflected off those eyes were a reminder of where they were in the grand scheme of things. A group of unlikely teenage heroes that defended the galaxies and all the life within them to end their suffering. Lance was a galaxy as vast as the ocean. Keith hadn’t realize for a while how deeply he wanted to explore Lance. To see and understand all of his intricacies, to protect him, to have him smile that stupid smile that brought light to others even when he felt darkness. Keith needed his light to remain. He wanted to help it burn brighter for the both of them.

“I meant _us_.” Lance’s lips just barely curled up in understanding before Keith kissed him back. Keith melted into Lance as the rest of his senses magnified. Keith cupped Lance’s cheek as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss with an increased fervor. They felt each others’ frantic heartbeats as their chests pressed up together. A moan escaped Keith’s mouth as Lance’s fingers latched into his black hair. Their lips molded together as one as Keith reveled in the subtle sweet taste of Lance's lips. Keith smiled, a chuckle threatening to leave his throat at this suddenly amusing train of thought.

 _Lance? Subtle?_   He couldn’t help himself. His chuckles broke up the kiss, their foreheads pressed together.

“What’s so funny?”

“You being subtle.” Lance responded with a chuckle.

“Oh, so making out with you is me being subtle?” Lance raised an eyebrow in amusement.

“Your lips, idiot.” Keith shook his head. “Just some stupid thought that came to me. Along with the fact that you have officially messed up my hair.” Lance chuckled.

“In that case, I have a stupid thought of my own to share.”

“Like?”

“That you have a cute laugh.”

“No, it's not!”

“Oh? Is that a challenge?” Lance asked mischievously.

“Try me.” Lance sat back a moment and rested his cheek on his hand. His eyes contemplated Keith for a moment. Keith could only wonder what was happening in this jokester’s brain. Keith found out only seconds later as Lance began to tickle at Keith’s sides. He lost composure as he fruitlessly tried to stifle the giggles that burst into a full blown laughter that hurt his stomach.

“L-Lance! N-No f-fair!” Keith’s arms flailed until he managed to find Lance’s stomach. It was confirmed by Lance’s initial recoil at his touch as his face caught like a deer in the headlights. Keith pounced on his target. Lance’s laughter was a sweet sound to his ears as both continued to fight in this tickle war. Keith couldn’t think of the last time he was ever tickled. Not even Shiro crossed that boundary, at least not on purpose. Their melodious laughter, the soreness of his cheeks from one of the widest smiles in recent memory, how Lance’s face looked more alive than he had looked in days. The joy was infectious.

The entangled duo laughed so hard they fell sideways away from the rock they had been resting on. Their laughter eventually ceased, they disentangled their limbs and lay on their backs, their fingers clasped together. Their breaths even out as they took in the dazzling lights up above. Keith’s lightheadedness from their kissing and tickle fight left a warm buzz in his brain. If only this moment could stay the way that it was, then Keith would be satisfied. For a moment, he could swear for that he was back in that old shack, stargazing just like he was now.

Home.

Keith gently squeezed Lance’s hand.

“Hey. Have you always…felt this way?” He heard the sand to the left of him shift as Lance rolled over.

“You mean, about you?” Keith faced Lance and nodded.

“Not the whole time, certainly not while we were at the Garrison. But yeah, for a while now. I think around the time you mocked my math skills.” Keith chuckled at the Pidge reference. “But really though, I think it was that conversation that got the ball rolling. You?”

“More or less the same story on my end.”

Then a sudden, sobering thought cut through Keith’s mind. With everything that’s going on with Votron and the Galra, anything could happen. These few minutes of bliss, pure joy, and relief that was sure to help Keith keep going. And Lance. That could all be taken away from him in an instant.

_Was this all moving too fast? What were they doing?_

“Keith?” Lance’s concern pulled Keith back. He looked down at their interwoven hands to remind himself that Lance was still here with him. “You’re tense. What’s on your mind?”

"That obvious, huh?"

“I just don’t know how...this...” Keith gestured to Lance and himself. ”This can't just work simply now.” Though Lance’s smile held, his eyes dimmed and his eyebrows slowly furrowed down. Keith’s blood ran cold as his brain pieced together the words he said.

 _Fuck!_ He didn’t mean for his words to come across like that. Keith desperately peppered Lance’s lips with several kisses.

“I’m sorry, Lance. That’s not what I meant! Oh, I suck at this.”

“Ain’t that news of the century.” Lance squeezed his hand back showing that he wasn't upset.

“Just please, know that I deeply care about you, Lance. I need you here with me.” Keith forced himself to take a deep breath before continuing slowly.

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m worried about us just jumping into...whatever this is, whatever we are, too soon. After what just happened with us tonight, I don’t think I could take it if I lose you in battle. We don’t know how this war will all turn out.”

“C’mon. Have ya already forgotten who we are? We’re the paladins of Voltron!”

“That could die at any moment!”

“That’s true,” Lance said as he firmly held his gaze. “Which means I could lose you too, especially since you're pulling double duty with the Blade of Marmora and all that. I’m not a complete idiot, ya know.” Lance pressed their foreheads together.

“I know you’re not, but its an old habit I guess. I’m worried about placing too much hope into someone or something only for things to go awry.”

“Don’t worry, I get it.” Lance’s eyes flitted down. “Besides, it's not like we started off with a bang, so this new angle to our already strange bond confuses me a bit too. I’m cool with taking our time, see how this goes.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” Lance kissed the top of Keith's forehead. “Regardless of what happens to us in the end, just know that I’m here for you. We’re all here for you, Keith.”

“Even your dumb jokes?”

“Keith,” Lance dramatically gasped. “Do you remember who I am?”

Keith took their intertwined hands and kissed Lance’s sun-kissed knuckles. “Most importantly, you’re not worthless. Your family knows that. The others know that. I know that. Think about the times where you’ve saved the others and saved me. You are more capable than you give yourself credit for. You matter and you deserve to be here, and I will be sure that you never forget that. You mean more to me than you realize, Lance.”

They'll have to get going soon, but Keith did what he could to imprint this memory into his brain. This moment where Lance's hand is clasped within his own. If he could just hang on to this sensation, it would be his anchor for any nightmares to come.

 


End file.
